Sunday, February 8, 2009
My heart goes out to my little brother Josh. I can only imagine the pain he is suffering. While I have felt the pain of breakups, I have never felt the pain of having my entire family ripped away. Just a little background, I hope my mom isn't upset by this post, but if she is I will remove it. I just felt the need to respond. My little brother is getting divorced. His ex-wife had one child from a previous marriage and they had a child together. However, through the divorce proceedings, it was discovered that my brother was not the father. Yet, Josh as well as each one of us love both of those children with all of our hearts and will continue to do so. However, we have to do what is best for our family. This means severing all ties with these two innocent kids. I am not upset that my brother is getting divorced, nor am I upset that he has chosen to remove his ex from his life even if it means no contact with the kids. I feel it is a blessing in disguise. That woman, nearly ruined his life and any shot Josh would have had to a normal life would have been destroyed had they stayed together or if she would have remained a part of his life. Unfortunately, these children will pay for the mistakes of their mother. Josh is the only father either of them have ever known and unless she can see the error of her ways and marry a good man, Josh will be the only father they will ever know. Today I went through and started removing pictures. I couldn't delete them because it just didn't seem right. But I couldn't help but cry and think of how difficult this all must be for Josh. I am grateful my brother made the right decision and chose to no longer let his ex control or manipulate him by using her own children by choosing to have no contact with her. I hope and pray that some how these two innocent children can find peace in all this chaos. Having studied marriage and family no one can say this is what is best for the children. Josh, I'm sure long before any of us, knew the child wasn't his, yet Josh determined to do the right thing for his family and these two children, stayed with his cheating wife. At great expense and personal sacrifice Josh fought for what was best for the children. Josh is the best thing that ever happened to his ex and her children and she walked away. A decision for which I am grateful. Josh deserves so much more. Josh deserves to have someone who loves him back, who fights just as hard as he does. My heart breaks for those two children. My heart breaks because their mother who complains about her childhood and blames that on all her problems today has chosen to give her children more of the same. I hope they can learn and when the time comes that they will chose to give their children something better. I hope they can look back with happiness at the time they spent with us. I hope in those moments of sadness and loneliness when they ache for a father, when they ache for some shred of normalcy that the heavens will open and their hearts will be filled with the love of our Father in Heaven and that they will feel of Josh's love and our love. That somehow they will not have to suffer the affects of the mistakes of their mother. That somehow they will be shielded and protected from the danger they will face. I hope they will remember the lessons my parents tried to teach them and the lessons they got in church. I hope that the atonement will be the antidote from the poison of their mother's teaching. I just want Josh to know how proud I am of him. I am so proud of the man he has become. I know these last four years have been a personal hell. Yet, Josh never complained, never tried to run, never tried to hide from or shirk his duties. He fought diligently with everything he had. I hope he can find the woman he deserves. I hope Josh can know of and realize his great worth. I love you Josh.